so its been awhile lol

since i posted in here. honestly i forgot my password and been to lazy to reset it but now since i have a few minutes to spare until i go back to work why not post something?
a few things going on in my life right now
a) We are going to be moving to Oklahoma city this friday.
Im really excited especially to be close to all my family. I can see my sisters, my grandma, aunts, uncles , dad and inlaws alot more now without the hassle of a big trip. We will be living about 1.5 hours away from my home town lawton. Also im excited to explore oklahoma city. The have a fabulous zoo, botanical center, and the murrah building memorial .. A few things i been wanting to visit but never ever had the chance. Now i will.
b) We are downsizing.
Yep downsizing to a 2 bedroom house. Its cute and quaint and just right for us. At first justin wasnt going to live with us. But because we cannot get enough of each other and he needs some help we are staying together. I deciding i could care less what my house looks like or how big it is. That crap doesnt matter to me anymore.
c) I got a new job.
Yep again i will be starting my new job Dec. 1! i know why take a break alyssa? lol. Anyways this is a roughly 360 bed hospital . So alot to learn :) RTs do mostlly all the intubations. Which is a first for me! if you dont know what intubation means. ITs when you insert the breathing tube down a persons trachea for life support. The hospital i work at the physicians and anesthesiologists do this. So this is new! im nervous but very excited about it. Also they have a full time nicu staff which i plan to join some day.
d) The girls are exiciting.
Oh yea they are. Celeste is thrilled about her new school and I will most likely put cailyn in pre-k classes. i know they will enjoy it. :) Im ready to move so i can focus on christmas!


anyways i have to get back to work now. but thanks for reading my update!
chow chow

okay we are better

here some photos enjoy looking at my girls lol

anyways update i talk to justin and we are better.. i thought he was going to stay mad that i deleted his WoW again but he wasnt. I just knew that his friend derreck is a big wow fanatic and everyone looks at me like the evil person who always keeps justin off it. ugh whatever!!!!!!! anyways im in a totally better mood! my parents might be closing in on a deal for this house about 15 miles from us :) sweet! lol.. my friend ashley just moved back from oklahoma so we need to spend some time together! lol so if my parents move out soon then my girls can have their own rooms for once! its been what almost 2 years since they been able to! maybe more? i cant wait to start piecing things together.. there is a lot i need to do with my place.. i need to make it my OWN again! sigh i cant wait. my work is good! I been training alot in the NICU which i really like it! It can be very sad and heartbreaking though :( those little kiddos are tough cookies!! Justin is going to go back to school soon and im going to apply to KU and take some classes at JCCC towards my BS i am waiting at least six months so i can qualify for a tuition re imbursment program at my job.. so far i been there about 3 1/2 months :) i still want to go back for my PA but i told myself i will get it done by the time im 30 lol.. i think there is just alot more important things in my life right now then worrying about burying my head in books and stressing over that. id rather be a "wife" and mom to my family. :) love life! anyways halloween is coming up i asked for that off so hopefully they give it to me he he cant wait!
have a nice week every one

sometimes we just cant cant get along :(

Me and Justin always get into it about money I hate it. I just dont understand why he likes to act like he doesnt care. He asked me yesterday if we could cook out for labor day. I said yay thats fine but i planned to only spend a little bit of money. I didnt give him a set amount. Well he spent over 100.00 which pissed me off.. seriously we could have just went out to eat for cheaper. I hate that he does that shit all the freaking time. So he cut into our car payment and that made me even madder because the car payment was suppose to be paid last friday and did he care to do it? NO.. i was so mad. I un installed his WoW again. and changed my account password so he cant re install it. Seriously if he doesnt give a flip about our bills then he needs to stay off my computer.. im the one who paid all our bills this time.. and all he had to do was make sure my car was paid.. no he didnt.. he rather spend worthless amounts of money on unhealthy hotdogs. chips and paid.. seriously.. id ont even know how you can spend that amount of money.. i always tend to budget and his bad spending habits are getting to me.. sigh.. i hate feeling short on cash.. seems like we always do.. i wouldnt have spent 30.00 yesterday let i know he spent 100.00 the other day. :( sigh seriously somebody shoot me already!

changes in our lives

So I been talking with Justin alot about what he wants to do with his life.. Anyways he is always unsure.. He was going to try police academy but that wasnt so grand.. then he was going to try auto mechanic but honestly he makes more money now then if he was to do that. Fire fighter (his friend derreck trying to convince him) his friend derrick finshed Firefighting school and still is having trouble finding a job anyways.. its tough for him to figure it out. I always mentioned the railroads.. PPL make pretty good salaries with the railroads so i always keep that in my mind.. so we looked more into it yesterday and its something he wants to do definately.. if he gets into it sometime next year and finished the curriculum.. which its really a fast pace curriculum he could get a job offer in another state.. which i wouldnt mind moving to a different state at all..nice change of scenery for once.. for all this isnt set in stone and who knows things could change im really looking forward to him changing his career path. The entry pay is really good.. more then what i was hoping for so the move would definately make it worth it.. hopefully he gets in! and finds something :) the pay is all out of pocket though not covered by financial aid but i think its worth it..

Celeste birthday

So Celeste birthday was this past weekend.. she had a blast :) we invited a lot of children and friends.. she got a good share of presents she was happy.. i thiink she was mainly thrilled that lauren gave her some mula.. she seemed to be more wired about that then anything else it was too cute! so overall the day was good! spent toomuch $$ on the party of course :(. Our neighbor kid was very rowdy he was getting on EVERYONES nerves lol... ugh i had to get after him several times! anyways here is a few pics

getting cailyn ready for pinyata



the pinyata was very scary for me lol



her new guitar! its real!
you can see justin playing on Wow >:(


anyways ill share more later!

sometimes i cant help but break down and cry

GoOd MoRnINg

"Its good morning time!" thats cailyns phrase to make sure we wake up with her in the morning. Its always "mommy! daddy! its good morning time!" LoL she picked up that phrase because everymorning Justin would softly say good morning and tickle the girls a bit to wake them up for the morning and get the day going :) Now she has this eternal alarm clock to still wake up at 6:30am! every morning. Its all good though because she is getting a little better to want to just chill out on the bed. She also likes the "wakey wakey" phrase off of Mcdonalds. Justin would say "wakey wakey" to her in the morning and she reply "bud a buh buh buh" or however they tend to spell that lol. Celeste and Cailyn are both playing my little ponies in the living room. It feels good to see them playing together. My sister Sabra (celestes companion) went to stay with her grandma for the summer. At first Celeste was devastated I felt horrible for her. She has such seperation issues, but i have no choice but to be firm with her or she will always think its okay to flip out if someone is leaving the house and she cant come along. Celeste is over being lonely for Sabra though (at least that is what shows) But before Sabra left Celeste never showed much love for Cailyn and I didnt know how to 'make' someone love someone. You know Celeste always shoved Cailyn out of the rooms or close the doors on her so she couldnt play. It furiated me! It was a nonstop battle but cailyn learned how to just play with mommy or play by herself my little pony style. But now they play together :) It really does feel good to see that! The girls love Leo too. Im glad we got him. Although he is still a pup and alot of work, I think its worth it. He chewed a few of justins things oooops! :o lol Justin isnt much of a pet person. But Leo is growing on him. Leo likes to chew though. He always try to chew on me! ahhh but i been teaching him not too so he doing ALOT better. My stepdad should be getting out the beginning of august. count down on lol.. I also started to read. right now im just reading a book my sister owns. Stop Laughing at Me. by jodee blanco its kind of based on the dave pelzer novels. Its about a girl who overcame school bullying. Its sad, I was always the odd ball kid. I was so awkward in highschool and to have a baby at 16 made me so much wierder then before lol. I never talked to anyone. I still dont like talking too much. Im always afraid i will sound dumb. Thats why i always have random thoughts in my head lol.. neways just sitting here listen to hank williams :) gotta love him. I better go and start some lo-ndry
until next time!

update

so life has moved just a wee bit fast since the last time i posted in here. Well lets see I graduated School middle of May and started my job a week later. I been working at University of Kansas Hospital. Its a pretty big hospital. Many ICUs to work in pretty big. At first its very intimidating because so much goes on there. But im getting the swing of things. Im still orientating so im not quiet alone yet, I work nights too and that was some getting use to but its alright. I dont mind the nights so far. I passed all my Boards and Registries. I didnt even realized i signed up for my hardes test the clinic simulations on June Friday the 13th! lol but i passed ;) kinda funny though. If i noticed that before i would have hesitated on that day lol I just wanted to get my boards done and now they are finished. Right now im studying ACLS course. Thats the certificate we need in order to help run code blues and rapid responses in the hospital :). other than that The girls are great :) they been enjoying the summer and schwemming in the back yard. We have a new member of the family too. Leo our mini dachsund :) ehh im kinda lazy and dont want to right more so chow!

today

just downed a big bowl of life cereal ugh. lol.. .now im going to school to study for the clinical sims yay! anyways sounds like an awesome weekend for me! me and just went on a 6 mile path yesterday evening.. he never comes with me so i thought that was nice of him he did today lol.. i jogged 4 miles and walked the 2 miles but he rode a bike most of the way.. he would have jogged but he almost broke his knee at work.. he fell off a lift gate.. so now he promises we will work out together and get inshape together we shall see how that goes! lol.. neways im off ttyl!

what a hellish week

this was a long and horrible long week.. we had test after test, final after final. I felt like it was never going to end. I been spending alot of my free time at school away from home. I had to practice taking my Boards we took a mock board today. It was equivalent to the National Board Written Registry exam. Then Tuesday we have to take Clinical Simulation exam. They are tough so i just been taking practice tests all the time lately. We have to pass these in order to graduate and be done! The girls are good putting up with me. Celeste has been loving the weather. She loves to ride her bike to the park but then she gets really whiney and that drives me nutty! cailyn is always a good sport :) We went to the mall yesterday and i bought my dress for graduation :) other then that i want to eat with justin and i plan to practice my clinic sims all weekend!

Annabell's song

i love these lyrics.. they just remind me so much of my girls

Annabell's song by everclear

I See you roll your eyes
You know it makes me smile
You are like the sun to me
Bright as liquid fire
I feel so powerless
Hold you up above the world
You are quite a lot of trouble
Such a pretty little girl ...
such a pretty little girl
I know I'm never home
I'm always miles and miles away
I feel I'm runnin' out of time
Say the things I need to say
Call you on the phone
You will not talk to me
Yeah you just don't understand
You are my everything

Anna, Anna
Tell me what you want
Tell me what you need
Anna, AnnaYou are never alone...
You are never alone.

I like to watch you play
When you don't know I'm there
See you in your sleep at night
Reach out and touch your hairI
wanna make this world
Be just how you want it to be
Yeah you just don't understand
You are everything to me

so on with the show

Enjoy the pics of my girls :)


What i would give to have the innocence of a child. So angelic, uncorrupted, blameless, faultless, guiltless, harmless. To be a child again. What a bargain it would be to re live just one day.

well nothing new.. another day another day.. yesterday we had a huge t-storm that scared the bejeebies out of me.. i felt bad for my girls..They were freaked out and cried alot :( It broke my heart to see them so sad but I kept them comforted through the evening. So anyways after the tornado warnings were over we hit the hay. I woke up at 1:30 am last night to loud winds. Justin and I looked at eachother, hopped out of bed and grabbed the girls. We all went down to the basement. There was no tornado though, thank goodness. So we went back to sleep, but we were pretty shaken up. The winds were powerful, very powerful. they went up to 80 mph in some areas.. When i woke up this morning i found my tree snapped in half :( such a beautiful tree too. The other day after my jog I was walking by it thinking to myself, "damn that tree is going to make my yard all white with those petals." lol... ironic eh? well i think so. So anyways this is the tree now

Its amazing how mother nature works. The way i was monitoring the clouds, the winds, and the circulation I am far suprised that a tornado did not hit close to us. I wouldnt be suprised if one did. Mother nature has been showing no mercy to us humans lately. Its like a downward spiral. May seems to be the worst month for tornado action and t-storm warnings. I just worry about all the people who do not have basements and live in trailer parks. I just dont see enough tornado shelters in kansas like i did in oklahoma.. So as my day progressed I went to class and studied.. studied .. and studied... someone brought cake.. great lol.. i came home.. i need to wrap up my invites for my graduation. i hope things get better for my family.. i hate living like this :( i went get into detail but things are so tough lately for us. thats all i can say for now :)

Im almost out of the water :)

Today was my last day of clinical rotations at hospitals.. I had so much relief inside knowing that school is coming to an end.. It has to be one of my most hectic year to this date. What a year. It went by so fast but then again so slow. I know so many people can relate to me who had to deal with the same situation.. to be committed to what seems like a fulltime job with no pay.. and on top of this "job" you have to be on top of studying remembering material and getting decent grades. It is exhausting. I know my family is super excited that I will be finished. Then on the 19th i start my first real job yippee :) im going fulltime nights which is some adjusting too but im glad that i can finally really provide for my girls :) well i am going to pick up my celeste from kindergarten so i shall be back later..

about me

Hello everyone and thanks for visiting my blog.. well my name is Alyssa. I am a 22 year old mother of an intelligent 5 year old and a spunky 3 year old. both girls :) they are my life my joy and the reason I keep moving forward in my life. I currently live in the suburbian life of Olathe, KS. Which, if you are not familar with, is a bit south of kansas city.. make that 25 miles to be exact. Yes I am very young to be the mother of two little children. I guess its not that common to see a 21 year old with a 5 1/2 yr old girl.. but hey thats the story of my life. :) I would not change it for the world. Being a young mother has helped me gain so much in my life and I feel very wise for my age. seriously. but anyways.. What more can I say about me? I am currently getting my AAS in Respiratory. I will soon be working for a great hospital. I live with my fiance Justin. We have been engaged for seems like a lifetime lol. I dont know why we are so hesitate to go full throttle. I mean we might as well be married. Im a pretty simple person. No high maintence here. I am easy to get along with and overall a loyal friend. I love out doorsie type things. I love to run and jog. Its my addiction now. I love to take pictures of things even though I may not be that great but who cares :) I have always been obsessed with taking picture. I had a camera in my hand since i was 5. I try not to let other people around me discourage me in life so in that sense i only stay around positive people. As one of my myspace friends has in her quotes "Dont worry about the people in your past, there is a reason why they didnt make it to your future. "I dont like the feeling of being watched closely. That really creeps me out for some reason. I hate being competive too. I just like to be ME.